John Racham Read online

  "Damned little choice, Query.Thought it over. You were right. No hope of rescue at alL So we had to make the best of it."

  "Yes." Christine nodded. "There was nothing else to do. And there have been some compensations. The primitive!" She smiled thoughtfully. "We talked about that, remember? But you look different, too. Where have you been all this time? Have you come back for good? And who's that?" Her voice fell to a whisper as she glanced furtively over his shoulder.

  "You see her, too?" Evans muttered. "I thought she was some kind of spook! You get to seeing things like that here."

  "No spook!" Query said hurriedly. "I haven't the time now to explain it all. She's one of the rulers, the upper-people . . . something like that. Anyway, we've come to collect you. There is going to be a meeting, some kind of council of the rulers. And all three of us have to be there. I don't know a lot about it myself, frankly. But come and meet her anyway." He turned and went back to where she stood, quiet and patient.

  "Azul of the Helsee. This is Gareth Evans. And Christine Evans." They came uncertainly near, made no attempt to put out their hands in any formal greeting, and he couldn't blame them. He had grown accustomed to her transcendent beauty, her statuesque presence, but now, just for a moment, he saw her afresh, as they must be seeing her, and it was no wonder they were awed. Her radiance grew stronger, her yellow gold eyes afire.

  91

  "You will stand on either side of him," she said quietly, "and hold hands. Have no fear. Now!"

  Query grasped their hands firmly and whispered, "It's all right, there's nothing to worry about You just hold on to me."

  Azul moved now, came to stand before him, her golden eyes steady on his. Then she raised her hands and placed one on each shoulder, grasping him firmly. "It is time!" she said.

  Query felt that familiar sensation of inflowing lightness, as if his veins ran with air, but this time there was no lifting up, no flight, nor any swooping. There was just a moment of strain, of spinning vertigo, and then she nodded and took her hands away and stepped back clear from him. Then she turned away and lifted her chin to look up.

  "They are here, oh Helsee! Will you now hear me?"

  Her voice rang out like a silver trumpet, stirring pinpoints of rich color all around, and Query gaped in astonishment as he took in the scene. The three humans stood in a natural clearing, a glade, on soft turf, and all around reared the giant columns of mighty trees, a ring of giants that stood up into the mist, far above into the dark. There was a sense of being in an immense cathedral. And the trees were full of angels.

  The simile came into his mind without thought. A moment of reason told him that this was nothing more than a vast concourse of Helsee, Azul's fellows, but the manner of their presence, the way they hung and perched up there, decorating all the nearer branches, and each and every one of them radiant with white light—they were angels. Or demons?

  "My God!" Evans breathed. "They are spooks! Millions of them up there. What the hell is this, Query? What's it all about?"

  "I don't know any more about it than you do, nor did I have any more choice than you. Except that I know this. We're going to get told."

  "Stephen!" Christine huddled close, gripping his hand. "I'm scared. What's going to happen? Who are ... all those?"

  "Grand assembly of all the Helsee," he muttered. "I'm

  92 scared, too. Azul said something about a judgment. Feels more like a trial to me!"

  He was aware of a vast whispering chorus of minds touching his, of to-and-fro argument, of decision . . . that Azul should proceed.

  "My people," she began, and still her voice rang out but not so loudly now. "You know me as I think and feel, as I know you, but so that these three may also know and understand, I will speak as they speak, the which I have learned to do from that one of the three who is very much akin to us in mind. And with your patience, I must first explain."

  She turned again to face her human audience. "You need to know that we Helsee have lived here on this planet long. It is our home. It is our way, we of the Helsee, to live on the high ground in and with trees, and the trees bear us and house us and we live in them. The other ones, those you know of and have lived with, are kin to us and we to them, and we care for them and protect them, and they live down there in the jungle. We are all one kind, sharing life in peace. Until you came.

  "Then, out of the darkness beyond the sky there came a great noise and a great light and a great consuming heat such as we have never seen before. And everything that was in its way, that was struck by that heat, shriveled and withered and died in great pain and hurt. And that was on a high place where the tree stood that was my home, where I lived. By chance I was distant from my home, caring for some of my people. By chance only, or I would not now be here speaking to you. Is this understood?"

  Query made an urgent step forward, staring at her. "We all understand," he said, "what you've just explained. Quite clearly. What you do not know, and what you have to believe, is that we didn't know . .. we had . . ."

  "Hold it!" Evans spoke up gruffly, sounding like a man awakening from a daze. "Hold on there, Query." He came forward now to push past and confront Azul; and then to throw his head back and stare up at the host of radiant Helsee. "I don't properly understand what this is all about yet, but I know this. If anybody was responsible, it wasn't him. It was me!"

  "You have no need to shout," Azul corrected him gently. "Just speak to me and they will know what is said."

  Query stepped back wryly. Old Gravel Guts, who claimed he was a fair man, a just man. And here he was, determined to prove it. And his shoulders were square, his back straight as he eyed Azul.

  "All right, ma'am, I'll say it again. It happened as you say, but I was the one responsible. I gave the order."

  She was quite calm and not angry, as she had some right to be. Query couldn't touch her at all. It was as if she had retired inside some barrier that insulated off her emotions.

  "Is it true, as he said, that you did not know you were creating great damage and pain and death?"

  "It's the truth. According to the best of our scientific knowledge, it's impossible for any kind of life as we know it to exist on this planet of yours. I know that's all wrong now, but I didn't know it at the time."

  Her eyes flicked to Query and there was an unspoken but crystal clear question in them. He nodded and spoke aloud for the benefit of the others.

  "That's quite true, Azul. According to the best we knew, life of any advanced nature is impossible here. Stupid, but there it is."

  "Very well, but that calls the next question. If you knew, or you believed, that there was no intelligent life here, why did you attack us so violently, so savagely? Why?"

  "It was no attack, ma'am. Nothing like that at all." Evans shook his head, turned in appeal to Query. "Does she understand what a war is?"

  "I think so, sir. I've told her quite a bit about us, how we go on, the things we do."

  "All right." The old man turned back to her. "We are fighting a war, ma'am. Earth, the planet we live on, is a long way from here, a very long way. And the people we are fighting live on a planet of another star that is even further away in the opposite direction. And all we needed was a place where we could stop off and rest and do repairs on the journey. That's all it was. And we picked this planet on purpose, because we were sure there was nothing here that anybody could want, nothing here to be

  94 upset or disturbed. Just a place to stop over. And I'm responsible. I'm the one who gave the order. And that's it, ma'am. If anybody has to take the knock for it, I'm the one."

  "That was direct," she said, "and, I believe, true. But those were only words. For my people, there must be more. Stephen . . ." her eyes came to Query again, ". . . will you come to me, please?"

  He went forward to her and she reached out and took his hand. There was a slight smile on her lips.

  "Do not be afraid, Stephen. You have allowed me to share your mind many times. I know what is there,
very well. Now, I ask you, open your mind to me . . . and to the others, that they may see and be sure. Will you, hiding nothing, fearing nothing?"

  It cost him a moment of terror, but the grip of her hand was a great strength, and he nodded, at last. "Whatever you ask, Azul."

  She smiled again, turned away, still holding his hand, to look up at her fellows. "This one I know. From him I have learned much. He is so much like us, that he is like the other half of myself. Look now into his mind as I have done and see ..." and Query shivered as there came the uncanny tickling touch of thousands of minds peering into his. The sweat started out on his flesh, but her hand held fast and was firm.

  "Now," she said, "I will ask him, and you shall read for yourselves. Stephen, it was true that your kind did not know of us, meant us no harm."

  "True. No one suspected there was intelligent life here. In fact, if it was possible for me to tell anyone, our scientists, right now . . . they wouldn't believe me!"

  "Very well. And it was true then, that this one here was responsible for all of it? That he is, or was, a person with great power and authority, who could give such a command?" "Go on, tell her!" Evans growled, as Query hesitated. "It was true. That is the way we do. I've told you about that. We have organizations and people with power and people in charge of others. He was the man in power, at the top. But. . . Azul... he didn't know!"

  "It is enough." She turned away from him again. "You have heard and seen. What say you?"

  Query waited in grim despair, trying to sense the concourse of thought, wondering what the verdict would be, feeling a Judas. Invisible lightning flickered in and about his head. And then there came a question, one he couldn't quite catch until Azul put it into words for him, although she spoke now to Evans.

  "You were in authority. You had power. Would you still hold that power, now, if we were to return you to your own kind?"

  XII

  "I DON'T SEE WHY NOTI" Evans declared promptly. "They might have written me off as dead by now, but that . . . what did you say?" His tone altered dramatically as the impact of her words got through. "You mean . . . you can return us ... to where we came from?" The shaking eagerness in his voice made Query ache inside, as, too, the way Christine suddenly started forward, her eyes shining, her whole body quivering in hope.

  "Oh!" she gasped. "Can you? Will you?"

  "We have that power."

  "To get back to civilization!" Evans muttered. "That would be . . . they will have written all of us off as dead long ago, but we can soon put that right. I'm not dead, damnit! I'd soon convince them!" But then his attitude altered subtly, and he stared at Azul. "You say you have the power to return us. You didn't say that without reason, 111 bet. What's on the other end of that string? What do you want me to do?"

  Query felt her fingers twitch, but her face was calm, still. She eyed Evans steadily. "We know a little of your human ways, by now. We are not vengeful as you are. What you did, you did in error and ignorance. We know that now. So we do not seek to punish. But we want you gone! We would have it that you go, as soon as possible, away from our home. To go and leave us alone. Leave our planet. Never more to return. Have you the power to achieve that?"

  Evans nodded slowly. "I have that kind of authority, ma'am. You can bet on it. And I can appreciate the deal. Yes, I can shut down the base and finish it for good and all. It may take a while; there's a lot of stuff to shift, men to get away, time for the wheels to turn. But I can do it, and I will do it just as fast as ever it can be done . . . if you'll give me the chance."

  "It's true," Query confirmed sadly. "He can do it."

  "And more," Azul's voice grew stem, "that you will go and keep silent. You will tell no one, ever, of what is here, of what you have seen. No onel Ever!"

  "That's something else again, ma'am." Evans set his jaw. "That's a lot more ground than I can cover. It's like this. Nobody is going to believe us if we try to tell them about you and all this. That is for sure. We are going to have a hard time explaining just how we come to be alive, never mind anything else. As for not talking, we won't That's for me and Christine. And Query can speak for himself. But I have no way of knowing, nor yet of controlling, the forward march of science. There was one research team here before the war started. There might be others. In time there is a growing certainty there will be somebody snooping here just out of curiosity. I can't stop that Nobody can. In fact, if I tried to, that would turn on the very thing you are hoping to avoid. That's the way it is. That's the truth, ma'am."

  "That's quite true," Query confirmed, "every word."

  Again there came that interplay of mind on mind, the invisible flashes of opinion and argument, the rustle of many minds in his, and then Azul nodded thoughtfully and smiled at the old man.

  "Very well. We know what you mean by scientific research persons and explorations. We can deal with those in ways of our own."

  "Then you are going to send us back?"

  "It will be done. But know this!" Azul grew stem again. "We have the skills and abilities to employ energy violently, if we wish. We could have destroyed your settlement at any time. But that is not our way. So, we have your word that you will withdraw as soon as possible. Or we will, of ourselves, destroy you. Is that understood?"

  "That's straight talk, ma'am, and I understand it. You

  97 needn't worry; I'll have that base whipped out as fast as ever it can be donel"

  "You really do want to go back, don't you?" Query looked at them, spoke only to them, knowing sadly what their answer would be. But he had to try. "Look at you," he said. "You're healthier, fitter, happier than you've ever been. It's all peaceful and quiet here. Beautiful, if you look at it right. And yet you want to go back?"

  He felt Azul's hand slip away from his, and then Christine came up to him, to face him, to reach and touch his arm. "I missed you," she said, "so very much." The primitive heat from her was almost tangible. "I wanted you terribly. If you could only know how much. Someone human to talk to, to touch, to be with. But you weren't there. We were all alone. There were some good moments, even some happy ones. All those glorious colors. And the people were kind. When that was all there was, that was one thing. We had to make the most of it. You know? But now, with the chance to get back among real people again. To sunlight. And noise . . . and everything. It will be so good, Stephen. Can't you see that?"

  She drew him despite himself. She was lovely, desirable, almost unbearably so . . . but it was all of the body, the flesh. Her mind was closed and impenetrable so far as he was concerned. There was nothing there he could share with. But he couldn't explain, any more than the blind can be expected to see color harmonies.

  And then Evans growled: "We have a job to do, man. We owe it to these people to get out as fast as we can. We've promised that, and we're going to do it. You too. You're human, Query. You can't change that. You can't opt out of the race you were born into. You're one of us, on this side. They're on the other side. Take a look, man!" He gestured up at the hanging radiances that glowed in the tall trees. "That's not for you, for us. We don't belong!"

  Query turned to look to Azul now, and for a timeless moment all her mind was open to him and his to her.

  Must I go?

  You are dear to me. I cannot say more. I must not influence you. In this I must obey the greater decision. And what is that?

  So long as your kind are on our world there can he nothing between us. A barrier has been set.

  But . . . when they go, I must go with them. I have no choice. And it is not possible for me to return alone.

  Then it must be so, Stephen. You must go!

  It all happened in between one breath and the next, with no room for the futility of wordy argument.

  Inside him something young and newborn whimpered, and then was silent as he suppressed it savagely. That was it, then. He was ready to go. But then her mind reached for him again, cleanly and strongly, to clasp him privately, shutting out all the others.

  ƒ ca
nnot let you go like that, in pain and misunderstanding. Let me try again to explain how it must be.

  Why not? I'll try to understand.

  The mind flow from her was instant and so overwhelmingly large that it humbled him as he tried to grasp the concepts. All life is one, Stephen. This whole planet is one living thing. From the tiniest airborne microbe to the wriggling worm in the mud, through each root, seed, plant, bush and tree and in everything that runs and fights and eats is one common thread. We are all one, made of many parts. Ripples on the vast sea of being.

  I know that thought. I've had it myself.

  So ... of all that life only a small part can attain consciousness, can become aware of itself, can understand and enjoy the knowledge of existence. I am one such part. In that much I am not free. I am a custodian of life. I owe it to all the rest to be to the utmost and share that being with all other life. Like an ambassador. A privilege that I share. Your -kind has somehow lost that sharing thought. You ravage, burn, despoil and destroy . . . your own kind. When I say we cannot have your kind here, Stephen, it is not my voice but the voice of all. The whole planet.

  But, Azul, you know that I'm not that kind!

  I know, Stephen, but I am only a part. A branch that must wither so that the rest of the tree may live. You understand . . . P

  "All right," he said aloud, "I'm ready."

  "You will hold hands," she said, "as before." And once again she came to stand in front of him, to gaze deeply

  99 into his eyes, to lay her hands on his shoulders, and grip . . . and the image of her lovely face faded and grew dim, was gone . . . there was a moment of bright radiance . . . then darkness and steam heat and mud. He stood in mud up to his knees. Christine on one side of him, old Evans on the other. Hot mud. Ropy creepers, massive blue black tree boles . . . and there, just barely visible, the steel gray, sloping wall of the Dome. And the air lock that he knew so well.